Elevator Etiquette

I am in constant amazement on a daily basis as to the complete inability of people to understand not only public niceties for using an elevator but also to not understand how one works. Here is a quick list in case you will soon find yourself in a situation requiring the use of an elevator to assure you will not frustrate and annoy people like me…

Waiting for the elevator
1. Do not stand directly in front of the doors. They will open and other people will exit. You will be in the way by standing at the doors. So you understand how this works – you can’t get ON the elevator until you let those other people OFF. Just get out of the way and it won’t leave without you.

2. Push the button and it lights up. Amazing, I know. If the button is lit up that means someone pushed it. You can push it again if that makes you feel more in control, but it won’t make the elevator come any faster. The elevator does not have mind. It doesn’t think, “oh my! John has pushed the button 5 times. He must be in a rush. Let me hurry on down to his floor…”

3. To go with the above – you do need to push the button once for it to open. Standing in the elevator bay with a dazed look on your face won’t work. The elevator can’t sense your presence, so you will stand there like an idiot until either someone else pushes the button for you or someone else happens to be exiting on your floor. You may be amazed at how people just stand there without any understanding of how to make the doors open.

Inside the elevator
1. Another elevator will come. If the doors open and many people enter the elevator, just wait for the next one. Crowding together just suffocates everyone – and more than likely the first person to get on gets stuck in the back but inevitably needs to be the first one off (or is the last floor and has to wait 5 or 6 extra stops because you had to shove your way into the elevator). An extra 30 seconds wait will not kill you or make you any less late for an appointment.

2. If the door is closing – let it close. Unless an old lady or someone running down the hall with their arms full needs to get on your elevator, you’re under no obligation to hold everyone else up. It’s one thing to be nice and hold it when you are alone on the elevator, or when the latecomer is very close to the door. It’s another thing to hold it for several minutes when other elevator users would like to reach their own destinations. I’ll just repeat – another elevator WILL open.

3. Don’t eat. It’s gross. I don’t want to stand next to you while you loudly chew your burger with extra onions.

4. Before leaving your house – put on less perfume. Once you enter an elevator your perfume stench will linger long after you’ve gone – thus giving people like me an instant migraine on my way to work. Same goes for cigarette smoke. And beer.

5. PDA is also gross on an elevator. If I’m outside I really don’t care if you’re kissing and hugging, but when I’m stuck standing inches away it’s uncomfortable.

6. Hang up your phone. Many phones lose their signal on an elevator to begin with, so odds are the person on the other end can’t hear you anyway. Shouting “I’M ON AN ELEVATOR” over and over isn’t getting your point across anyway since I’m the only person who hears it and I already know this fact. Just call the person back when you exit.

I’m sure there are plenty more elevator rules. Feel free to share your own!